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| Skrivet den 2006-07-23 22:19:51 |
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July 23rd, 2006 (01:47 am)
I'm in love with the most wonderful guy ever. He's my bestfriend. The thing is though he denies me as a bestfriend to the world. But in private, he'll admit it, like hes ashamed. I have tears rolling down my cheeks as I am writing this. I love him so much. I knew from the day, I called him my bestfriend, that I loved him. Even when I was with my boyfriend. I didn't worry too much because we were both in relationships. But, they both ended. We make inappropriate jokes to each other. He's my cherry, and I'm his choclate covered Julie. But the love I have for him is way to strong. I can't handle it. Have you ever felt that way before?
I got mad at my best friend richard, he said it was mest up that he forgot my birthday. But when my birthday comes. He can't even say "happy birthday". I'm 9 hours away from him, and he can't send a five minute aim message saying happy birthday. I'm not asking for a flight out here. I'm not asking for a $1000 gift. All I wanted was a happy birthday from the one person I truly deeply madly love. Guys are so blind. Espically to the real thing. What's even worse, it's right in front of him.
We got mad at each other, and i deleted him off my myspace. He tried to msg me, but I was at the movies. I love him...
But i have to suck it up, and get over it. Happy birthday to me.
I shouldn't be in love with him because:
1. he sister is my friend
2. he's 4 years younger
3. he's a friend of my ex (who said he never really liked me-he wasn't sure, and said it would be okay to date his friends, he didnt' care)
what should I do...... help??? |
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| Skrivet den 2006-07-24 01:26:42 |
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I don't know what you should do because you are inside your skin and only you know what is best under the circumstances but I found your reasons for "Not" being in love kind of short sighted.
"1. he sister is my friend
2. he's 4 years younger
3. he's a friend of my ex (who said he never really liked me-he wasn't sure, and said it would be okay to date his friends, he didnt' care)"
A. If he was your sister's "EX-boyfriend" then that might be a serious concern but sinmply being friends with your sibling is not a big deal.
B. Being younger or older is not a real issue when both of you are 18+. So if you feel as strongly as you do wait and see what the future holds.
C. Your EX has does not the right to dictate who you see. It may make for some awkard moments( or not) but you really need be concerned about the what you ex might or might think or feel.
So do what you think is right or maybe it's best to do nothing and just wait and see... |
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| Skrivet den 2006-07-24 01:34:06 |
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But see the thing is, I don't want my heart to get ripped out, but then I don't want my love to keep growing and growing even more, and then have it ripped out, I'd rather have it ripped out. I dunno what to do.... |
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| Skrivet den 2006-07-24 01:41:32 |
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Perhaps you should do nothing, by that I mean don't pursue a relationship of any kind and let things cool off. That way your heart will not get ripped out and your feelings will also cool off( they really will).
Find something else to occupy your mind for the time being and see how that works. |
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| Skrivet den 2006-07-24 01:59:53 |
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See that's what I did with my ex, and it ended up with my bestfriend! I really don't have friends where I'm at right now. LOL! I've been trying to. YOu know it's like when go one aim, hear the phone ring, or go on myspace, who's the person your thinking about.
You want it to be that person! LOL!
I was thinking about cooling down. I asked my last ex out, and he never reallyliked me so I made a vow not to tell anyone who I like, nonetheless, tell that person. But then I dont' him to be caught by another person. LIke he did last time.
Love hurts. |
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| Skrivet den 2006-07-24 04:34:30 |
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Yep....that's why I hang out with a cat  |
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| Skrivet den 2006-07-24 04:35:49 |
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id say talk to him about it, just tell him your feelings. I know its VERY hard for you right now but you gotta hold in there, if you tell him, at least THATS off your shoulders, if he doesnt talk to you for a while, dont worry, he'll come around eventually. He will just need some time t figure things out. And if that doesnt work, you always got us!
Now thats my advice, you dont have to take it though, just do what your heart tells you! Good luck :) |
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| Skrivet den 2006-07-24 06:21:44 |
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Well they say age is only a number
unless you are a 32 year old person going out with a 17 year old, that is creepy beyond reason.
but I highly doubt that is you.
here is my thoughts,
- I find it really stupid to say you aren't his (best)friend in public, but in private he does. This makes me wonder if, like you said, he is ashamed to be with you. Or maybe he is just shy, because you are older than him, or something along those lines
- I don't know how old you are but isn't it a bit early to declare you undying devotion to this guy? I mean there are many other guys, maybe what you feel right now is infactuation. But if you strongly believe that he is the one, then I say, talk to him. I mean Communication is key to a relationship, or starting one. It's cliche but it works. And HONESTY! lying is a relationship SIN!
- UNdelete him from your myspace. And he actually called you! last time I had a fight with my best guy friend, i had to call him though it was totally his fault. I think that is a good sign of reconciliation and that he is a true friend because he wants to patch things up.
- those other factors like how he's your sister's friend and everything shouldn't be that important, i mean if you guys do get together, people will have to accept you guys because your sister loves you and she wants you to have the best guy ever.
- in the end, I hope for the best. And I hope you won't get mad at him, and at least talk to him, tell him how you feel (easier said then done, I know, I've done it, and I chickened out in telling my crush in person so i confessed on his YEARBOOK. :O omg my big secret is out)
- and hopefully this huge message wasn't completely useless.
muchlove,
that girl who made your livejournal icon. |
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| Skrivet den 2006-07-24 12:45:13 |
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thanx you guys.. I know I should tell him... oh btw I am 18, he is 14.. lol. And the problem I have with telling him is the fact that he probably dosen't know what he wants. I know what I want. I wanted my ex, but he didn't know what he wanted, and that caused problems.
I'm not sure he knows what he wants. If he dosent', I want to be able to make sure he does. It's not the omg! I get butterflies. It's the I'm content, and comfortable with I am when I am with him kind of love.
It's also hard for us because we both got with our ex's around the same time, and they ended around the same time. So we were bassically both their for each other when it was hard for the both of us.
It was a really weird situation on how we met. We hung out at the same place for about a whole semester, never saying one single word to each other. I knew who he was through my brother. Second semseter came along and I entered health class. I was a senior and everyone in the class was a freshmen. I didn't know anyone person. I didn't even sit by him. Then when I went to visit my dad for a whole week, I came back and my seat had been given to someone else. So, the teacher decided to go ahead and let me sit where I chose. Well, I didn't know anyone, but Daniel was the closest thing to anyone I knew, so I decided to sit in front of him. Preety soon we just became friends, starting out by talking about my brother. We had absouluty nothing in common, and had never said one word to eachother. And I'm serious about that. I made a choice to sit in front of him. I didnt' have to. It's one I don't regret.
He is the complete opposite of me. He's skater/rocker, and I'm the little girl who hasen't done anything. He's the one that got me to get in my undergarments at 11:00 at night and jump in shivering pool with him, and two other guys. He's the one that gave me relationship advice, when I was being hard on my boyfriend. He's the one that told me to live my life. And I don't regret this. He drinks, I don't. He's completly opposite from me.
If it werent't for my brother, we wouldn't even now each other.
Since I am going to college, I still have to decide where to go. I want to go to #one, because I know I'll be just a phone call, and a car ride away. But if he dosent' feel the same way, why should I go there. But if he dosent' know, then I'll have fun, being with the one I love.
I'm scared of not being loved back.
I'm scared my love won't be good enough
I am pondering on wether or not I should tell him. All of your advice is helping greatly. Half of me is saying don't and other half is saying do. He know's I am in love with someone. He know's no one knows. He knows that. He's been asking me. But no one knows, so hence noone can tell him. I made sure of that. LOL.
I'll keep you guys updated. If you guys have anymore thoughts on this, please post them, I would appreciate them:) |
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| Skrivet den 2006-07-24 14:22:33 |
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OMG! i have the same dame thing! i love my bestfriend! |
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| Skrivet den 2006-07-24 18:33:23 |
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LOL! Isn't it hard? |
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| Skrivet den 2006-07-24 18:45:20 |
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lol, i think you should tell him, he probably has some "feelings" for u too, but your oler so he feels embarrassed, and hey maybe he had a surprise or your birthday and you wouldnt let him give it you cause it was late, and sensei lol about your cat |
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| Skrivet den 2006-07-24 19:01:45 |
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i think you should tell him...i was kinda in a sorta thing like this before but not rilly...ummm yeah tell him how much u love him and care for him..let him know everything that u told us...unless he knows everything u told us..talk to his sister...maybe she could help...talk to ur ex maybe he could help...find sumone who u are close to and he is close to and maybe they could talk to eachother if u cant find the right words to say to him...
hope this helps sweetie..much luv
<3ashley<3 |
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| Skrivet den 2006-07-24 19:30:16 |
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Well the thing is about the birthday, I'm 9 hours away from him, and all i wanted was a happy birthday. I don't care about gifts, although i did get a cool cherry wallet yay! to go with my cherry purse....lol...
i want to tel him, but i'm just afraid... |
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| Skrivet den 2006-07-24 20:21:04 |
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Well the thing is about the birthday, I'm 9 hours away from him, and all i wanted was a happy birthday. I don't care about gifts, although i did get a cool cherry wallet yay! to go with my cherry purse....lol...
i want to tel him, but i'm just afraid... |
i know how u feel...but he'll never know how u feel unless u tell him...and yea i would say thats pretty crappy he didnt wish u a happy bday or nething...but yeah tell him how u feel...if u dont do it now u mite not get a chance too
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| Skrivet den 2006-07-24 21:59:59 |
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he is 14? |
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| Skrivet den 2006-07-24 22:27:15 |
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yes, he is fourteen... that's why I'm scared to tell him because of our age diffrence... my last bf was 9 months younger than me... |
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| Skrivet den 2006-07-24 22:38:15 |
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well umm ive dated a guy older then me like 19 so i dont see why it would matter |
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| Skrivet den 2006-07-25 00:11:58 |
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It's diffrent though, because I'm the girl, so that would make me older... its' kinda weird... it was weird for me and my ex...well weired for ever1 else |
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| Skrivet den 2006-07-25 04:02:22 |
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| unless you are a 32 year old person going out with a 17 year old, that is creepy beyond reason. |
Well, maybe not always. Tammy Bruce had her first girlfriend when she was 17, and the girlfriend was 34. Actually, now that I think about it, that's a really bad example. You're right. It is creepy.
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| It's diffrent though, because I'm the girl, so that would make me older... |
What do you mean "that would make [you] older"? You're already older, right? It's not physical age as much as emotional/mental age, I think. If he's really mature for his age or something like that, I don't see why not. (Of course, you probably can't sleep with him legally.)
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| its' kinda weird... it was weird for me and my ex...well weired for ever1 else |
And why exactly are you factoring in what everyone else thinks? Who cares what everyone else thinks? They can mind their own business. |
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| Skrivet den 2006-07-25 05:11:37 |
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the age factor is what I mean by maturing and knowin what we want. I know what I want out of life, but I'm not sure he know's what he wants...
Yes, I have to care what everyone else thinks. My brother almost tripped because he thought we were. (even though I wish it were ture.. lol). Once I was almost going to go out with someone that was 14, most of my guy friends literally stopped talking to me. It was awful... |
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| Skrivet den 2006-07-25 06:23:10 |
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| I know what I want out of life, but I'm not sure he know's what he wants... |
Okay. What is it that you want out of life?
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| Once I was almost going to go out with someone that was 14, most of my guy friends literally stopped talking to me. It was awful... |
If they stopped talking to you, what business do they have calling you their friend? They're not your friends if they'd ignore you for something like that.
By the way, have you ever stopped to wonder why you always pick young guys? |
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| Skrivet den 2006-07-25 08:15:33 |
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I want somone who will treat me right, i want to be in a long term relationship. not a two month type of thing.... i want somone who wants to have a better life for their kids than they had... and the list goes on
And yes I have stopped myself and wondered why I choose younger guys. I realized its merely the fact that
1) i relate to them better
2) i hang out with them a lot more, aboutt 99% of all my friends were younger ... the other 1% were about 4 seniors and two were only lunch time friends.. |
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| Skrivet den 2006-07-25 10:43:21 |
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Im the last person to say age matters, but I think it does when one is an adult and the other is still classed as a minor. If you went further then you would be breaking laws. The right person is out there. You will know their the right person when you dont have any doubts about being with them. |
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| Skrivet den 2006-07-25 13:44:56 |
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I think if you have this many doubts, you should maybe just be friends but if you already dated a 14 year old whats the difference now, just kiddinggg idk i want to have the answer to this one but i dont have it sry...maybe you should let time straighten everything out. :) |
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