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| Skrivet den 2006-08-05 21:25:32 |
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i wanna die...i havent been this happy in 2 years...its all because of john..ever since ive been dating him ive been happy...havent been like this since my grandfather died...and now my ma says we cant see eachother no more cuz now that she thought it over she thinks hes to old for me...hes gonna be 18 in oct..and im 14..she also thinks he moves to fast...im in love with him i really am...i have been cryin non stop for the past 5 days because my ma will not let em see or speak to him..i feel liek my heart has been ripped out..i dunno wat to do...i cut again...this time worse...and i called a bunch of psychologists yesterday cuz my ma dont get that i need help...she doesnt understand wat im capable of...im tryin to find a psycologist...they are going to retyrn my calls monday...i feel like im dyin inside..i dont know wat to do...i luv him and wanna be with him but my ma is stoppin me...help meeee im losin the one that i care the most about in my life...wat should i do when ive already explained to my ma that im in love with him...and she dont care she says "hes still to old for u and has much mroe experience and moves faster" when he is onyl 4 years older then me...and ym dads ten years older then my mom...and when hes only had sex once...thats not much more experience...im still a virgin but ive done stuff too that she dont know bout...im scared of losing him..if i do lose him...i think i will kill myself..   |
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| Skrivet den 2006-08-05 21:54:17 |
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oh, I feel so bad for you. But me feeling sorry for you is not going to help,at least you know that you need help and that right now your not getting it from your parents. Don't kill yourself please, just kidding, but seriously dont. And this is gonna sound so retarded but like since pain is the only thing helping you ttry like a different kind of pain not cutting or bleeding just like pinch yourself until some one really can help you release your pain and anger cause now it seems like your in so much pain you could start cutting your neck or something. So maybe you should just talk to your boyfriend over the internet or something he'll probably get you through it. I know I am no help at all, but my prayers are with you. Love, Caitlin |
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| Skrivet den 2006-08-06 03:54:36 |
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aww ashlee, please don't kill yourself!
think of all the people you are going to hurt if you do! like your best friend in your pic, and your guy friend john.
I can't believe your mom doesn't come and talk to you, she should see that you are in pain.
and I understand that your mom thinks he's too old for you, but you can alway make her see the better part of him, and not his age. hopefully she'll understand.
and i think its hypocritical that she thinks he's too old when you dad is older than she is. Age is a number. and if you know what right for you and what you can and can't do with him, then she should be able to trust you.
hope that helps. |
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| Skrivet den 2006-08-07 03:12:12 |
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ive tryed to talk to her...ive told her how i feel and everytime its the same answer "i dont give a fuck i said u cant see or talk talk to him anymore.."I dunno wat i should do...im hurting...i cant talk to him online because my ma set parental controls where i can only talk to ppl on the safe list and hes not on it and i only am allowed on twice a week saturday and sunday and only for an hour each day...everyday and nite i cry...it seems like im only happy when im with john,...i luv him sooo much and im dying because i need to be with him and damn im gonna cry |
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| Skrivet den 2006-08-07 03:43:43 |
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well wont he be at school when it starts? because you can see him during school and not telling ur parents about it. but don't cut urself don't do anything that will kill you |
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| Skrivet den 2006-08-07 12:31:21 |
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what a load of bollocks |
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| Skrivet den 2006-08-07 14:57:07 |
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thats mean...but then again john (i hope thats his name) is just another guy maybe he was better than some of the others you've been out with but eventually you will find another person who makes you just as happy :) I know it sounds naive now but how did you find john? (i hope thats his name) anything you do just dont ill yourslef or date your cuz lol good luck :) |
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| Skrivet den 2006-08-11 04:40:23 |
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just kill yourself ashley. you owe that much to yourself... |
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| Skrivet den 2006-08-12 17:07:54 |
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| well wont he be at school when it starts? because you can see him during school and not telling ur parents about it. but don't cut urself don't do anything that will kill you |
i cant hes at a different school then i am...
i met him in a chatroom lol...but we started talkin on the phone and stuff..and then he asked me to go to the movies with him so i went with him and my bestfriend catalina and his brother and his friend justin and justins gf becca...and my friend matt...then he asked me out;...and we've been dating ever since...he lives maybe 45 minutes away from me...but he sees me whenever he can...
things just got worse last nite...my ma said shes callin the phone company and tellin them to print her out a phone log of all the numbers that were called since monday and i called him ALOT...so im in trouble...she said if she finds out im lyin then i cant go t omy homecoming dance and i cant get my cell back...
and joe no im not gonna kill myself so shut the hell up...
but anyways...my ma got me in with a psychiatrist on monday so we'll see how that goes...i told my ma that i cut and she has been freaked out since...and now shessayin like ur gonna be put on meds and probably be put in rehab...i was like omg...lol |
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| Skrivet den 2006-08-12 18:14:48 |
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ashley ur soooo much into "lovey lovey" stuff !! u need a new hobby !!! |
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| Skrivet den 2006-08-12 19:43:23 |
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hey, gurl, you're just 14, and if you think, that he's THE ONLY, you're REALLY wrong. Indeed. Believe me. At the moment you just think you can't live without him, because (maybe) he's the guy, who have showed you a lot of attention, gave you his free time.
Anywayz..
Please understand, that you're not some kind of a cheep-gurl who doesn't have her own worth. You DO! If he really cares for you, so in this case HE should contend for you, NOT you for him. If he doesn't do that, so it means you're not so needed for him, not like he is for you. You're not a cheep thing. NO! You're the one, that someone must make war FOR YOU.
So stop acting like a baby. Show YOUR OWN worht.
Talking from my-self experience, not "from air". |
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| Skrivet den 2006-08-12 20:50:24 |
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ok, i do feel bad, but it's NOT worth killing yourself.
you might think that you love him, but you dont.
and if its meant to be, it will work out.
love is something you fcace in college or after college.
you shouldnt get in a relationship that serious.
all it will do is hurt you.
take it from someone with experience.
you're only 14...you will have ALOT more boyfriends.
you cant find your soulmate at such a young age. |
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| Skrivet den 2006-08-12 22:38:58 |
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| ashley ur soooo much into "lovey lovey" stuff !! u need a new hobby !!! |
She's just romantic as a person, at least that's the picture of her I have. Don't you want someone to love you to? Maybe you have, I don't know. But I bet that it is nice to have someone hugging you with love (: Hugs from friends, relatives or yourself is not enough sometimes. Or always.
It's not worth killing yourself, even if you'll have to leave him. IT'S NOT WORTH IT. Your mom is just worried about you, I think. She don't want you to get hurt, like he is going to break up with you if you don't do that and that. At least, I think so... But it don't work so well, don't it... |
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| Skrivet den 2006-08-13 05:37:25 |
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| ashley ur soooo much into "lovey lovey" stuff !! u need a new hobby !!! |
She's just romantic as a person, at least that's the picture of her I have. Don't you want someone to love you to? Maybe you have, I don't know. But I bet that it is nice to have someone hugging you with love (: Hugs from friends, relatives or yourself is not enough sometimes. Or always.
It's not worth killing yourself, even if you'll have to leave him. IT'S NOT WORTH IT. Your mom is just worried about you, I think. She don't want you to get hurt, like he is going to break up with you if you don't do that and that. At least, I think so... But it don't work so well, don't it... |
he could care less if we did anything...we havent seen eachother in over a week...and only talked to eachother 3 times...and for not even 30 minutes...so comeon...tell me hes only in it for the "physical stuff"
and actually it is possible to be "in love" at 14 because i have friends and cousins who found a boifriend/gurlfriend at 13 or 14 and they are still with them at the age of 19 or 18...so its majorly possible.
like i said i havent been this happy for 2 years...3 years come january...and thats when my grandfather died...so he makes me able to be myself...noone has let me be myself or made me this happy since the death...he would give the world for me...hes actually already almost been thrown in jail for me...so please tell me hes not worth it...and that im not in love...because i have my feelings and i know when im in love and I AM...
and as far as the "lovey lovey" stuff im only like that when i really do care about a person...and because i dont get alotta love...i get yelling and screamin...and arguin...thats what i get... |
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| Skrivet den 2006-08-13 16:30:59 |
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I'm relly sorry. Relly.
I didin't say that you are not in love, but I guess you are talking to others...
But don't you think that he would be sad if you killed yourself? And your friends, and relatives? Suicide is, at least I think so, the last way out, and sometimes, the problem could be fixed sooner or later. But that's not always... You'll make it, I know you will! Don't let this tear you apart! |
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| Skrivet den 2006-08-13 17:10:09 |
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From what you write I can tell you were really close to your grandpa....I am sure he didn't want you to be in pain, so when you feel so sad that you feel like hurting yourself or killing yourslef think of him...pray to him, pray to HIM. Like Nick Jonas would say: Dear God people take your words and twist them round I know you can't be happy with what's goin down, can you help me out Dear God Everybody's searchin' for an easy solution, they can't look beyond the selfish world they're livin' in...But I still believe one day you're gonna speak to me Dear God just the other night I heard someone say, what's the use in believin' in you anyway, I guess it's just the heartache talkin' through the pain it's a crying shame. That last line...it sounds beautiful, I guess it's just the heartache talkin through the pain. You know, everything happens for a reason, maybe since all these terrible things that you say keep happening to you, are for a purpose. They are teaching you that life isn't easy, and one day something is going to happen to you, that's going to change your life. Your going to find something you love to do that takes away the pain, and eventually that's what you are going to do that makes you happy and earns you a living. You're going to find someone to love someone that you might settle down with and watch the sunset together when youre 76. lt;s true you've got to make things hapen for your self. I believe in you, you grandfather believes in you, and most of all God believes in you.
Dear God trying to hear you but the silence is just so loud, I think I see a rainow from behind the clouds, and I hear you now Dear God. |
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| Skrivet den 2006-08-14 03:59:06 |
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well i was close to my grandfather..but then when i moved i never went to see him cuz i wanted to stay home and go on the computer or talk on the phone and then he got really sick and in the hospital and i fell apart...i felt like my heart was being ripped out and fed to a bunch of dogs..and i feel that now..i have my psychologist meeting tommarow...the first one...i am gonna get her advice on this situation..cuz its tearin me up inside...and i do have another thing that makes me feel good..its singing and writing my songs but it getsreally bad sumtiems and that doesnt help and now ive just decided to skip the process of singing and song writing and go right to the part of cuttin my wrists... |
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| Skrivet den 2006-08-14 05:07:42 |
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no, really ashley. kill yourself. no one will care that much.
your still too young to fall in love. and you've been through so much. and No. we can never be friends again.
Your real dumb.. thinking we can be friends after we go out a few times. Then you make me fall in love with you again. And you cheat on me by going back out with david, then with this loser john. And What the FUCK is it getting you?? Nothing! Your like a fucken slut and should just kill yourself. Your a horrible person! |
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| Skrivet den 2006-08-14 08:30:33 |
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^ wow that was kind of harsh.
but i don't believe that you can find love at fourteen. and what you said about your friends still dating their significant others, that's only like four years. Four years doesn't determine anything.
and how can you love someone if you've only met him a few times and talked to him a few times?
I really don't get your logic.
but theres really nothing we can do to help you. |
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| Skrivet den 2006-08-14 12:27:59 |
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why don't you sort out your personal issues in real (or email or whatever) instead of arguing on a forum where the whole world can read along? either one of you has a contageous disease or you're just desperate for attention. anyways, I've reported this topic because I think it should be closed, cos it's pointless. |
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| Skrivet den 2006-08-15 15:31:26 |
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| why don't you sort out your personal issues in real (or email or whatever) instead of arguing on a forum where the whole world can read along? either one of you has a contageous disease or you're just desperate for attention. anyways, I've reported this topic because I think it should be closed, cos it's pointless. |
xpress2myheart just wants us to cry for her  |
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| Skrivet den 2006-08-15 15:52:03 |
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| why don't you sort out your personal issues in real (or email or whatever) instead of arguing on a forum where the whole world can read along? either one of you has a contageous disease or you're just desperate for attention. anyways, I've reported this topic because I think it should be closed, cos it's pointless. |
I agree, so I'm going to close this thread.
**Closed |
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